Ray Bradbury

Today in a journal, I stumbled upon a quote that read: "I wish you a wrestling match with your creative muse that will last a lifetime. I wish craziness and foolishness and madness upon you. May you live with hysteria, and out of it make fine stories... Which finally means, may you be in love for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world." -Ray Bradbury.

That may now be one of my favorite quotes, if not my favorite.

I then researched who Ray Bradbury. His thought and words about love and books, among other things really made me love his mind.

He's the old man I would love to meet for coffee at sunrise, if there ever was a quiet place with a beautiful view that served coffee before sunrise.

Life stories. Only I would just listen. Observe the noise. Observe the quiet.

I enjoy another soul that makes me stop and think. Inspires me.

Inspiration is everywhere.

"Everything in our life should be based on love." Thank you, Ray Bradbury (1920-2012).

There are things that you don't know ..

There are things that you don't know.
I practice writing my soon to be last name on foggy windows and doors. And no matter how sloppy the outcome, I am always satisfied.
I prefer to shower in a windowed bathroom in the daytime with the lights off and music. Clarity.
I have nightmares of my past. Often.
It's a reminder. That I was weak. So weak. But then again.. it is a reminder that I AM strong. And I wasn't strong until well.. The man that has forever been right under my nose was given the chance he worked so hard to deserve.
I hit a rough patch a couple of years ago. I haven't been the same since. However, some things have changed about me for the better. I have a new light in my eyes. I see SO MUCH beauty in this chaotic world we live in now. It really is the little things that can make the biggest difference. Art. Beauty. They are in so many things that we go day to day without noticing. I see and feel so much of that now. We, as humans, take too much for granted. And while I still battle with the D word and anxiety from time to time. I know that I am far more blessed than I could ever deserve. And that, among many other things, gets me by with a joyful smile on my face.
This is me. And at this point in time, I am the happiest I have ever been. But I know my God. And I know that He has plans. He continues to surprise me daily, even through my failures at recognizing His many blessings for us all sooner. He has plans, and this life is only going to get better.

My God. The gift of my best friend. I am in awe.

You'll know when (written February)

You'll know when

I know I'm afraid
But I'd rather you stay
Forever, with me
So please don't go away
I'll conquer the fears
Let love conquer all
Walk out of the shadows
Let down every wall
I'll build you a castle
Upon a foundation that's true
I'll do whatever it takes
If it means that I keep you
Winning you over
I don't have to try
I know that you're mine
From now till you die
But to comfort your heart
And to ease your mind
Because I know that you are anxious
With wondering how much time
I need not too long
For I know that I'm for you
Soon enough there'll be no waiting
And then you'll know that.. I do
Fear, it is haunting
But know that He is strong
Love will stop at nothing
Because He knows where I belong

Short and sweet (written last July)

Sometimes I wonder
But then I get sad
So I sit here with you,
Play pretend instead

My imagination says:
I'm yours and you're mine
As reality screams
Don't worry, you'll be fine

I don't want to be blown away
Or swept off my feet
I just want to be here
With you next to me

Sincerely (written last June)

Sincerely.

The thoughts in my head have more battles.. than you could ever comprehend.
I'm sorry I let you down.
I'm sorry I made things so hard.
Let you forget who you are even though you're my best friend.

I just got lost with you, somewhere along the way
Let you fall into temptation
Let you slip right through my hands
Forgive me for that, please say you'll stay

Undeserving and unexpected, I've been blessed by you completely
My intentions weren't for evil
My relationship not counterfeit
I know that I slipped, let the wrong things deceive me

I feel like a terrible person; I will take the blame
If I lost you
I'd be broken
I want our friendship to remain the same

I will never regret.. my sentimental summer spent with you
It is bittersweet
It still brings a smile
I suppose this is just the beginning of something new

The last thing I wish to do is place you underneath such pressure
I want to be a better person
I want to be a better friend
Your company means more to me than that anyone can measure

I'm sorry I let you down.
I'm sorry I made things so hard.
Let you forget who you are even though you're my best friend.

I'm not the brightest (also written a while back)

Everyone hurts you at some point. You were just the last I expected.
My ignorance again has won.
I'm just a girl that can't be perfected.

I knew that I would break
Not this soon, but I'll watch you go
So throw your blows, I can take it.
I'm much stronger than you know.

I hate to cry in public
I prefer the solitude
But what I hate even more..
Is saying that it's because of you

Remember our long summer nights?
Yeah, I'm sorry I shared that kiss
Said you'd never screw me over
You weren't supposed to do this

But I can hold my head high
I can walk away too
This will be the only day I cry
No worries, what we never had is through.

The Greatest Goodbye (written a year ago, but forgot to post to the list)

Walking out that door:
Greatest choice I made.
That phone call with you crying?
Well, it made my day.

Oh yes, I see so soon again you're dating
Who you called your biggest mistake
Yeah, you were right about that
But being with you isn't something in which I wish to partake

A round of applause,
Your acting skills are fantastic!
But you should work on your balls,
Even women aren't to be so dramatic.

Too far? I think not.
Your dick's as dumb as was my heart.
I'm pissed at the fact I let you in
& Disgusted by you making girls a sport

One, two, three, bang
The list goes on and on
When you get to the next one,
Please can you tell me what it is you've won?

Congratulations!
But I don't think herpes is a prize
Correct me if I'm wrong,
I think you're safe, for from it no one dies

Sorry I'm not sorry
Oooh yes I know I'm mean
That's all right, doesn't hurt my feelings
For at least I know I'm clean

My days are filled with laughter
A joke, yes thanks for being
I used to think you were a gentleman
But little boys can be so deceiving