There are things that you don't know.
I practice writing my soon to be last name on foggy windows and doors. And no matter how sloppy the outcome, I am always satisfied.
I prefer to shower in a windowed bathroom in the daytime with the lights off and music. Clarity.
I have nightmares of my past. Often.
It's a reminder. That I was weak. So weak. But then again.. it is a reminder that I AM strong. And I wasn't strong until well.. The man that has forever been right under my nose was given the chance he worked so hard to deserve.
I hit a rough patch a couple of years ago. I haven't been the same since. However, some things have changed about me for the better. I have a new light in my eyes. I see SO MUCH beauty in this chaotic world we live in now. It really is the little things that can make the biggest difference. Art. Beauty. They are in so many things that we go day to day without noticing. I see and feel so much of that now. We, as humans, take too much for granted. And while I still battle with the D word and anxiety from time to time. I know that I am far more blessed than I could ever deserve. And that, among many other things, gets me by with a joyful smile on my face.
This is me. And at this point in time, I am the happiest I have ever been. But I know my God. And I know that He has plans. He continues to surprise me daily, even through my failures at recognizing His many blessings for us all sooner. He has plans, and this life is only going to get better.
My God. The gift of my best friend. I am in awe.