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Thursday, July 26, 2012

Disappointed in Myself

It's the most beautiful things I'm afraid of..
Like having someone in my life "forever".
Now the thunder rolls outside my window
And I know that we won't be together.

I can hear the rain beating down on my roof
And trickle down by my window with the faint sound of chime.
A tear rolls down my right cheek
Because I know that we've ran out of time.

In opposite directions we'll go alone on our own paths
I'll cry when I reach out and you're not there.
A storm is a beautiful thing, but when it passes...
Will you still be there for me to care?

What have I done?
Afraid to love and afraid to lose.
Scared of what I'm feeling
And now I don't even get to choose.

The sky is angry
As my heart cries.
I couldn't possibly prepare myself.
This will be the worst of goodbyes.

Why must life be?
My brain and my heart argue
With what stands right here in front of me.

Stubborn they are
Don't they know you'll soon be gone?
You'll be much better off.
A new place for you to forget and to move on.

I miss you now and I'll miss you then;
I know that we will both be fine.
Here, is nothing to end.
At least for the summer, it was almost like you were mine.

I know it's going to be hard,
But I'll be happy for you then.
You'll soon get what you deserve
And I'll smile because you're my best friend..

-Kate Gill

Thursday, July 12, 2012

While you were sleeping.

I'm scared to touch you because I may feel something.. more than just your skin.
I've made promises to myself.. Including: not to let you in.
You know that line, I play for keeps is seeming to hold true.
I chose the game, but it played me because my heart has lost to you.
I'm afraid and too afraid to show it because you're my best friend.
But if truth be told and you asked me, This summer I don't want to end.
Letting you go, saying goodbye.. Is already choking me.
I'll put up blinds as my heart cries.. Hiding so you can't see.
At night I think and lie awake as thoughts of you fill in my head.
The sweetest words and compliments have been the ones that you have said.
All the care and all the kindness are things I never knew.
Genuine and all sincere, but will it prove always to hold true?
My best friend forever or just an ex later, when my friend you've always been?
I flag the feelings. Forcing them down, for with them I can't win.
If they arose, I'd surely lose you and that I cannot handle.
Because we have a bond that to me is special, and it's worth so much more than just a summer scandal.

-Kate Gill

Sunday, July 8, 2012

The First Sign

Let's be honest..
I've found myself scared of how I might feel when you leave.
Let's be honest..
I've become a bit addicted to the way that you've touched me.

I've become attached
To your fingers in my hair,
To your kisses on my forehead,
To the sincere way that you care.

You're my best friend.
Please don't go away.
I know I act chill when I leave,
But I always want to stay.

Let's be honest..
I'm fighting this hard.
I may be the joker,
But you hold the card.

Let's be honest..
I'm scared to be alone.
I front like I'm tough.
Put you in the friend zone.

I cringe at the future.
The thought makes me sick.
I wish to stay right where I am,
But the time is passing quick.

To think that I'll be on my own..
And question what will I do?
Makes me wonder what would happen..
If I chose to cling to you?

Let's be honest..
I'm clawing feelings like a tiger.
Scared that if I pounce I just might bleed.
So to them I still remain a fighter.

Let's be honest..
The reason I tell you not to fall for me is because I fell for you..
And the reason I say that "love" is a lie is because I'm scared that I'll love you..

-Kate Gill

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Don't Fall in Love with Her

She had lights in her eyes
Even in the darkest of times
Hates goodbyes
And being in public when she cries

She's trouble indeed
She doesn't follow, she leads
Wild heart freed
And eyes you can't read

Don't fall in love with her

It's not hard to make her smile
She'll never walk down the aisle
In her shoes you couldn't walk a mile
But your time she'll make worth while

She isn't a snake
Not by any means fake
But a lie she won't take
She won't accept heartbreak

Don't fall in love with her

She wears her heart on her sleeve
In "love" she doesn't believe
Her hand you won't achieve
But she's a friend that won't leave

Stubborn as a rock
Heart down on lock
"love" she likes to mock
And feelings she will block

So don't fall in love with her

Flawed like no other and perfectly alone
But she'll miss you when your gone
And the smell of your cologne
You've been the best friend she's ever known
She'll always treasure your friendship and the kindness that you've shown

But don't fall in love with her

-Kate Gill